“This is the bestest website in the worlds!”
I rather liked this one-off comment in a recent post. Try saying it in your choice of voice — breathless, maybe, or like that raspy voice-over in film trailers.
What a compliment! The bestest website — very Shakespearean that — the doubled superlative intensifying and raising calmgrove to the pinnacle of perfection, the apogee of worthiness, the zenith of …
But then the flatterer spoils it all. The bestest in the universe of worlds? That very plurality pricks the bubble of satisfaction I’ve inflated around me: the lickspittle is clearly inviting me to partake of a fantasy existence where offworld civilisations acknowledge the primacy of my creation. I’m left to wonder why such an obvious appeal to ego has been left, what purpose it serves for me or for the sychophant.
So far this is the bestest [sic] of all the spam comments I’ve had (if spam it is, as the compliment-giver doesn’t seem to be selling anything). Mostly I’m addressed as “Dear Web Admin, I notice …” or am invited to purchase fake branded clothing and accessories.
So I wonder what’s the most fatuous comment you’ve had to one of your posts, the most insincere compliment you’ve been paid, or the mostest ridiculous observation that has ever graced your inbox? (No names, no pack drill!) Can you top this acme of acuity?
Sorry, I meant vacuity.